Spring brings fresh little puddles

My nails are cracked and breaking, and my hands are terribly dry. It must be Spring! I've had my hands in the pots the past two days, prepping and humming and loving all over everything.

I've had to cut back my violets and my massive aloe plants, but that shall only make them grow more vigorously, so I don't hear them complaining. The aloe weeped over my worktop a little but I've bottled the gel, so it's content in having found a use for itself besides growing. I do hate being cruel to my beautiful loves, but they are all the better for it in the long run. I suppose it can't all be fun and games. The poor violets haven't sprouted in months and their leaves were scraggly. It had to be done.

In brighter news I've started some mint seeds, and some dill. I ran out of mint ages ago and was having to drag myself into supernatural foods to buy the tiny little organic bags that cost more than the jar I store them in. But that's life in a small city I suppose. My local grocery store has started carrying fresh bagged herbs, but I tend to shy away from those... They just don't have any appeal. Laying there, slightly wilted, wrapped in plastic with condensed moisture on the inside breeding Lord knows what - you just know scrubbing those isn't gonna get all the germy werms! Organic home grown herbs just rocks my face off.

Still procrastinating on the big stuff though. I am working on it. Trying to. Slowly but surely. I think I can I think I can IthinkIcanIthinkIcan...

Safe In Their Coats (Turbid Blue And The Drugstores Too)

For some reason I keep procrastinating. I keep meaning to, wanting to, get back into the swing of things before summer gets here and it's too late, but I stop myself every time. I'm scared I guess. I've made so many terrible choices the past few years... it's hard to imagine that something isn't going to come back and bite me in the ass. And so I do nothing. I hide. Which, of course, I'm very good at. But I don't want to do it anymore...

I guess it's just a matter of getting on with things and putting my fears aside. But that is easier said than done. They don't teach stuff like this at school. When it comes to sorting things out and really bringing a resolution to the past few years of my life I am at a stand still. I have no idea where to even begin... there is just so much to it. It boggles.

Tonight, I shan't procrastinate. I will accomplish what I set out to do. I will. Yup. Baby steps and junk.

Pick Out Your Cloud

Lately it feels as if I'm being pulled in all sorts of different directions. An imp hanging off each arm and each leg, a devil on each shoulder and no angel in sight. Took the day off I guess. The commute must be tough.

I fancy myself quite accomplished when it comes to flying by the seat of my pants, so the situation isn't really new to me. But it seems as if I've lost something. My decisiveness perhaps. Or my testicular fortitude. Either way it feels as if I'm fighting with a wet blanket for no apparent reason whatsoever.

I am confused. I feel as if I'm missing something. Disconnected is the word. I lost my source's phone number and I don't think it's listed. They don't exactly have a Yellow Pages for that anyway. I'm not even sure I know what I mean when I say "source" but I know I had it, and I know it's gone. It's all so very up in the air. *Insert sigh here*